Introducing The Energy Triangle: A Map Back to Your Most Productive Self
Some days, it feels like we’re unraveling.
We wake up already behind, spend the morning chasing unfinished tasks, spend the afternoon outrunning expectations, and land in bed at night too tired to dream (but not tired enough to stop our ruminating!). When life becomes a sprint, we rarely stop to ask: Where is all my energy going?
Chicago Center for Behavioral Health is coining a tool we call the energy triangle, and its purpose is to answer this question in a fairly simple way. To explore the tool, draw a triangle. Whatever shape you’d like will do. The point is that there are three distinct sides and points, each of which you’ll label with three vital areas of your life:
Wants
Needs
Rest or Reset
Let’s start with wants. These are the things we’re reaching for. Maybe that’s a fulfilling job, a more connected relationship, the degree we’ve dreamt of, the creative project that still lives in a notebook. Our wants are the stories we’re still writing. They’re not necessarily urgent, but they are essential. And like it or not, they’re going to take energy and time to achieve (as much as we wish we could snap our fingers to grow and change).
Then there are the needs. These are the non-negotiables, the bricks of daily function. Eating. Sleeping. Showering. Making it to that mandatory work meeting. Paying the bills. Picking up your child from school on time. As Abraham Maslow taught in creating his hierarchy of needs, there are foundational elements of our being that must be in place before we can truly exhale. When these needs aren’t met, rest is not available or safe. Without them, we remain in survival mode, bodies on autopilot, minds flooded with to-dos.
But when we spend too much of our time here, in the realm of constant doing, we burn out. We start to believe that rest is indulgent, dreams feel impractical, and we get stuck in a cyclical routine that only continues to feed this one area of our lives. This routine often leads to pessimism, losing love for life, and feeling that we’re simply workhorses with no purpose other than waking, working, and sleeping again. Our free time? That barely exists because it’s spent on crucial care, like hygiene and nourishment.
Finally, rest or reset.
For some clients, this part is fun. For others, it feels like a frivolous waste of time. This category can include things like dinner with friends who let you speak without filtering. A yoga class that listens to your body instead of punishing it. Sitting by water with your phone face down. A movie that doesn’t demand anything of you. And no — it doesn’t count if the “friend” drains you. It doesn’t count if your workout leaves you more broken than before.
When using the energy triangle, we ask clients to list bullet points for each of these categories. Here’s an example of an energy triangle full of common areas you may allocate your energy.
When we use this tool with clients, the rest and reset section is often the hardest. Instead of having 6-10 bullet points, like the others, there are typically 3 or 4 that a client can add. Still, that’s often done without much passion or confidence. We find this is because many of us don’t think we deserve rest. But rest isn't a reward for being productive. It’s a requirement if we’re going to excel in the other points of this triangle.
Once bullet points are established, the next step is ranking energy use. How much of your energy goes into each corner of the triangle? There is no correct number. It doesn't need to be divided evenly. In fact, it would be rare if it was.
Our energy shifts with our seasons. A new parent might have 80% of their energy spoken for in the needs category. Someone in a season of recovery might be pouring most of their strength into rest. A recent graduate might be fueled by wants, hungry for sustaining momentum.
But the beauty of the triangle is that it gives you something tangible to reflect on. You can name where you are, and ask yourself: Where do I want to be? What ideal percentage of your energy would you like to give to each corner? If you could rewrite your routine, what would that look like, and why?
If we give all our energy to the needs, we end up living on overdrive. That robs us of the reset we require to keep going. And without space to reset, how can we ever reach our wants?
This is not about perfect balance. It’s about conscious tending. You are allowed to work hard. You are allowed to want more. You are allowed to rest. No one area is more important than the other. Without all three, though, the overdrive may never stop.
We invite you to sit with the energy triangle to identify where your daily energy goes. We hope in doing so, you’ll find ways to reclaim it without sacrificing anything on your list.
Chicago Center for Behavioral Health therapists are currently accepting new clients. If you’d like to talk with someone about better-prioritizing routine and self-care, click here to get started.